1 00:00:14,582 --> 00:00:17,218 Never mix tequila and scotch. 2 00:00:17,285 --> 00:00:19,120 Morning, Uncle Charlie. 3 00:00:19,187 --> 00:00:21,155 Hey, Jake boy. 4 00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:23,757 Dad said you'd never get up to go to soccer with me 5 00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:25,526 but I said, yuh-huh, he promised. 6 00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:28,096 So, he was wrong. Ha ha. 7 00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:33,567 Yeah. Ha ha. 8 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,769 Wait. What? 9 00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:39,840 Uh, you know, most of the parents wear shorts 10 00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:42,910 and lots of sun screen but that's another way to go. 11 00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:45,213 Alan, I can't go to a soccer game. 12 00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:47,181 I just got home from Vegas. 13 00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:49,750 You went out last night to return a video. 14 00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,354 Yeah, but I ran into a friend of mine 15 00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:55,289 who was getting married at the Bellagio. 16 00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:57,091 That explains the tuxedo. 17 00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:05,699 No, I think this was for something else entirely. 18 00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:08,236 Well, I'm sure I'll read about it in the paper. 19 00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:10,638 Anyway, I'm the soccer Snack Buddy this week 20 00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:13,006 so I got to stop at the grocery store. 21 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,442 Why don't you ride to the game with Jake 22 00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:15,643 when the van gets here, huh? 23 00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:16,910 I've got a better idea. 24 00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:18,679 Why don't I go upstairs and throw up 25 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:20,914 and sleep in my clothes for 12 hours. 26 00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:22,916 Fine. But if you're not going to come 27 00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:25,519 you got to tell Jake yourself. 28 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:26,620 Fine. 29 00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:27,655 He'll understand. 30 00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:30,824 Hey, Jake. 31 00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:32,626 I got new cleats. 32 00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:35,896 Nice. 33 00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:38,699 Uh, listen, Jake, buddy... 34 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:44,972 have you ever been to Vegas? 35 00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:48,108 ( excited shouting ) 36 00:01:48,176 --> 00:01:51,145 So you're the infamous Uncle Charlie. 37 00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:53,113 I've heard about you. 38 00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:56,617 * Men, men, men, men, manly men * 39 00:01:56,684 --> 00:01:58,219 * Men... * 40 00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,058 Everybody out! 41 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,760 Watch your head! One at a time! 42 00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:08,829 ( kids shouting ) 43 00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:16,136 So, here's the deal, Uncle Charlie. 44 00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:17,438 I find you attractive. 45 00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:19,273 I have three kids, a bastard of an ex-husband, 46 00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:21,275 I work 50 hours a week running my own travel agency, 47 00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:22,610 I'm at the peak of my sexuality, 48 00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,478 and I have a three hour window Wednesday nights 49 00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,214 when the kids are at Tae Kwon Do. 50 00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:29,250 Are you in or out? 51 00:02:29,317 --> 00:02:30,351 I'm sorry. 52 00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,085 I-I'm terminally hung over 53 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,955 and I just took a cleat in the groin. 54 00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:36,190 E-mail me. 55 00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:38,726 All Aboard Gloria at AOL dot com. 56 00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:43,831 ( shouting ) 57 00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:47,067 ( whistle blowing ) 58 00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:49,069 So, which one's yours? 59 00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:51,939 Oh, please don't make me talk. 60 00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:56,510 This is Charlie Harper. Alan Harper's brother. 61 00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:59,447 ( crows cheering and whistle blowing ) 62 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,016 So, who's winning? 63 00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,218 No one. We don't keep score. 64 00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:05,319 We think it's healthier 65 00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,020 if the kids just play for fun. 66 00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:10,358 You're yanking me, right? 67 00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:14,462 Yes, Judith warned us that you were a pistol. 68 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,964 By the way, we were so sorry to hear about her and Alan. 69 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,299 So tell us, is it true? 70 00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:20,834 Did Judith leave your brother for another woman? 71 00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,170 Why don't you ask Judith? 72 00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:25,839 We wouldn't want to pry. 73 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:32,145 Ladies, if you'll excuse me, I have to go, 'cause... 74 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,382 oh hell, I don't need a reason. 75 00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:39,253 Well, somebody's a little full of himself. 76 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,323 Forget him. His brother's the one who's in play. 77 00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:43,824 How's Jake doing? 78 00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,559 Jake's fine. He's ten. 79 00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:47,461 He's got his whole life ahead of him. 80 00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:48,896 Me, on the other hand, 81 00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:51,565 I'm sitting in the hot sun in rented pants 82 00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,267 listening to myself blink. 83 00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:55,869 I'll ask somebody else. 84 00:03:57,538 --> 00:04:00,073 ( chuckling ) 85 00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:02,242 What? 86 00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:04,512 Sorry, I couldn't help overhearing, 87 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,514 and you just look so... 88 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,016 pathetic. 89 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:12,720 Really? The guy at the tux shop said I looked dashing. 90 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:13,787 Of course, 91 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:14,955 that was yesterday. 92 00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:17,858 And I found his phone number in my pocket. 93 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,827 What was the occasion? 94 00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:22,195 Just returning a video. 95 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,163 Charlie Harper. 96 00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:24,998 Kate McLaughlin. 97 00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:27,568 Let me ask you something, Kate McLaughlin. 98 00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:31,204 What's your take on this whole no keeping score thing? 99 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,474 I think it's the dumbest thing I ever heard. 100 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:38,912 Can I stay here next to you where it's safe? 101 00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:39,947 Sure. 102 00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:42,783 So, which one's yours? 103 00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:46,620 Number nine, but I'm not the father. 104 00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:49,523 Well, aren't you a good sport. 105 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,963 Jake, for the last time, nobody got creamed. 106 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:58,031 No one won, no one lost. 107 00:04:58,098 --> 00:05:00,601 Yeah, except for us. 12 to 2. 108 00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:03,737 Hey, pal, it doesn't matter if you win or lose. 109 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:07,074 It's whether or not you beat the spread. 110 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,241 Thank you, Charlie. 111 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,877 Jake, go take a shower. 112 00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:14,748 Charlie, we're trying to teach the kids not to keep score. 113 00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:18,486 You should have thought of that before you taught them to count. 114 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,021 By the way, 115 00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:22,856 what are you doing with Jake tomorrow? 116 00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:23,691 I don't know. Why? 117 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,292 I made a play date for him 118 00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:26,994 with one of the kids from the game. 119 00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,329 You're hitting on the mother, aren't you? 120 00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:32,500 Can't slip one past you, can I? 121 00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:35,235 That's not what a play date is for. 122 00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:38,038 What? The kid plays, I have a date. 123 00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:39,106 Everybody wins. 124 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,674 Everybody wins? 125 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:41,675 Yes. 126 00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,977 But I promise not to keep score. 127 00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:47,114 Charlie, you can not use my son to pick up single mothers. 128 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,082 Ah, but I can. 129 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:52,085 Good night, Snack Buddy. 130 00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:54,488 No going in the water, no throwing rocks, 131 00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:57,558 and remember, if you can't see us, we can't see you. 132 00:05:57,625 --> 00:06:00,628 Is there anything you'd like to add, Charlie? 133 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,796 Why can't they throw rocks? 134 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,297 Go. 135 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,099 Ernie loves the beach. 136 00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,635 Thanks for inviting him. 137 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,970 Hey, anything for the kids. 138 00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,304 They're our future. 139 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,273 So, where's Alan? 140 00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:14,442 I sent him to the movies. 141 00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:16,076 He deserves a break now and then, 142 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:18,278 and I get some quality uncle time with Jake. 143 00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:20,080 I think that is really nice of... 144 00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:22,683 Ernie, keep your socks with your shoes! 145 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:23,951 I'm sorry, where was I? 146 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:26,587 You were saying I was nice about something. 147 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:28,889 So, how long you been living 148 00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:29,857 in Sherman Oaks? 149 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,625 Oh, gosh, we moved there in... 150 00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,527 Ernie, put that down, it's dead. 151 00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:35,195 I swear, that kid will pick up anything, 152 00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:36,296 no matter what it looks like. 153 00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:37,831 Been there. 154 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:42,302 Anyway, we moved in just in time for the earthquake... 155 00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:45,238 Ernie, I'm not going to say it again, 156 00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:47,007 put the dead thing down! 157 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:52,179 Jake, you should probably put your dead thing down, too. 158 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,380 Kids, huh? 159 00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:54,882 I know, they're just... 160 00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:57,384 Ernie, put it down or we're leaving right now. 161 00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:59,653 I'm counting to three. 162 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:00,788 One... 163 00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,122 two... 164 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,825 Ernie, for God's sake, you're killing me here. 165 00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:06,293 Thank you. 166 00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:07,294 No problem. 167 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:08,962 So, did you grow up in L.A.? 168 00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:11,899 No. My dad was in the army so we moved around... 169 00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,867 Oh, hell, that thing's not dead. 170 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,269 Charlie, I would really like to get to know you 171 00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:17,938 but it is not going to happen on a play date. 172 00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:19,272 Why don't you ask me out some time? 173 00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:20,541 You know that's a real... 174 00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:21,609 ( Ernie crying ) 175 00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,443 Are you happy?! Are you happy?! 176 00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:24,778 You had to pick it up again. 177 00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,246 Had to pick it up, didn't you. 178 00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,848 I told you to put it down, Ernie. 179 00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,282 So what night's good for you? 180 00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:30,383 Jake, don't pick it up. 181 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,019 You saw what it did to Ernie. 182 00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,060 Don't wait up. 183 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,394 Back to Vegas? 184 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,231 Even better. Sherman Oaks. 185 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,068 The gateway to Van Nuys. 186 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,704 Kate again? 187 00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:53,473 Charlie, you have no clue what you're getting involved in 188 00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:54,775 with these divorced soccer moms. 189 00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:56,610 You're right, I don't have a clue. 190 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:58,912 I've never had a clue. It's part of my charm. 191 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,247 Well, at least keep in mind 192 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,282 that all these women talk to each other. 193 00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:05,385 So anything you do will eventually get back to my wife 194 00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:06,620 and somehow become my fault. 195 00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,522 That doesn't seem fair. 196 00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:11,258 Oh, well. 197 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,761 So, where are you going? 198 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,462 I volunteered to help Gloria 199 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,064 with the soccer league newsletter. 200 00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:19,299 I'm thinking of calling it "Just For Kicks." 201 00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:23,503 Wait a minute, this is the same Gloria who drives the kid van? 202 00:08:23,571 --> 00:08:24,337 Yeah. Why? 203 00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:26,106 Nothing. Have fun. 204 00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:30,678 Talk about not having a clue. 205 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,548 And I designed a logo. 206 00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:35,515 The "K" in Kicks 207 00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:37,417 has a little foot. 208 00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:39,953 GLORIA: Sounds wonderful. 209 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:43,591 I can't thank you enough for taking the time to do this. 210 00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:45,826 Oh, you know, anything for the kids. 211 00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:47,761 You're such a good father. 212 00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:51,198 It's a shame that Judith didn't appreciate you. 213 00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:53,701 Well, you know, she just needed a little time 214 00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,402 to sort things out, but... 215 00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:58,071 yeah, it's a shame. 216 00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,239 Look at you-- 217 00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:03,543 a successful chiropractor, intelligent, dedicated. 218 00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:05,445 Aw, you're embarrassing me. 219 00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:06,546 ( chuckling ) 220 00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:08,148 I'm sorry. 221 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:13,220 Let's get back to your... little logo. 222 00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,421 Ow. 223 00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,423 What's wrong? 224 00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:17,858 Hmm? Oh, nothing. 225 00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,293 It's my neck. I must have slept wrong. 226 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,630 Why don't you make an appointment with my office 227 00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:24,397 and we'll see if we can't fix that? 228 00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:27,801 No, no, I'd feel funny. 229 00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,737 We know each other. 230 00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,372 Don't be silly. It's what I do. 231 00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:33,440 Turn around, turn around. 232 00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:35,575 Go ahead. 233 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,947 Are you getting enough calcium? 234 00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,214 I guess. 235 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:46,086 It's really important for a woman your age. 236 00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:48,421 Osteoporosis is a real problem. 237 00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:51,324 Curvature of the spine. 238 00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:54,327 Last thing you want is to wind up with a hump. 239 00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:56,096 Knockee, knockee. 240 00:09:57,330 --> 00:10:00,868 Well, I hope you didn't start without me. 241 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,176 BILL: What are you talking about? 242 00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:10,944 KATE: Bill, you did this on purpose. 243 00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:12,846 You showed late just so you could snoop on me. 244 00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:14,514 Hey, you got to meet my girlfriend. 245 00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:18,585 What meet? She was our baby-sitter. 246 00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,153 Will you get out of here, Bill? 247 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,521 Kate, I'm trying. 248 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,390 Ernie, would you put your shoes on? 249 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,929 Hey. 250 00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:30,630 Hey. 251 00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:37,504 Bill. 252 00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,973 Charlie. 253 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,381 That your Jag? 254 00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,483 Yeah. 255 00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,052 It's nice. 256 00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:59,626 I got the Navigator over there. 257 00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:02,229 That's nice, too. 258 00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:04,031 Let's go, Dad. 259 00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,470 Well, all right, then. 260 00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:12,205 You try and make her happy. 261 00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:18,678 ...truthfully, I think that my ex 262 00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:21,915 was intimidated by my sexual... 263 00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:26,386 I don't even know how to say it... appetite. 264 00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:30,423 Huh. 265 00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,860 So we're agreed we'll set aside six inches 266 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,427 for the editorial column? 267 00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:36,529 Oh, I'm sorry. 268 00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,265 Yes. Six inches. 269 00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:40,267 I don't know how I got so off-topic. 270 00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:43,403 I know exactly how you got off-topic. 271 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:46,373 Okay. I think the next piece of business 272 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:47,875 is to decide on the paper color. 273 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,276 I brought some samples. 274 00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:53,446 We've got goldenrod, salmon, mustard... 275 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:56,316 You had me at goldenrod. 276 00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,787 Everybody has you at goldenrod. 277 00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:05,058 My brother Alan warned me 278 00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:06,760 not to go out with you tonight. 279 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,095 That's funny. 280 00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,663 Everybody warned me not to go out with you. 281 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,133 Hey, it worked for Romeo and Juliet. 282 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:18,005 Well, up until the poison and the stabbing. 283 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,207 Charlie, I have a confession. 284 00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:21,641 I haven't been out with a man 285 00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:23,777 other than my husband in 12 years. 286 00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:25,678 Oh, that's not a problem. 287 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,047 A couple of things have changed, 288 00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:28,181 but I can bring you up to date. 289 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:31,518 Please do. All right, well... 290 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:34,187 Nowadays women pay for dinner. 291 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,892 And, of course, sex is a given. 292 00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:43,196 I'll tell you one thing, I am not paying for dinner. 293 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,398 Rats. 294 00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:49,870 Well, look at the time. 295 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,204 Maybe we should get going, 296 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,640 give Gloria a chance for a little quiet time 297 00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:56,109 before her many, many kids come home. 298 00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:59,679 I don't need any quiet time. 299 00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:00,814 Don't be silly. 300 00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:02,682 Alan, would you mind driving me home? 301 00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:04,184 I'm feeling a little tipsy. 302 00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:05,685 A little tipsy? 303 00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:07,554 How about a little obvious? 304 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,822 I'm sorry? 305 00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:10,057 Can I talk to you for a minute? 306 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,591 You know, it is getting a little late. 307 00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:12,893 Sit down. 308 00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:16,897 We'll be right back. 309 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,200 I think she's going through the change. 310 00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:24,071 What do you think you're doing? 311 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,173 BROOKE: What? He's in play, I'm playing. 312 00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:28,741 GLORIA: I'm the one who told you he's in play. 313 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,744 Oh, please. I told you two years ago that marriage was toast. 314 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,713 So what? 315 00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:36,183 He's in my house on Tae Kwon Do Wednesday 316 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,318 and I don't have time to mess around with you. 317 00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:40,587 Look, why don't we just let him decide? 318 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:41,989 Let him decide? 319 00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:44,391 He still thinks we're doing a soccer newsletter. 320 00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:49,229 You don't even like him, do you? 321 00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:51,298 He's okay. 322 00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:54,601 He's here and it's Wednesday. 323 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,170 Well, I happen to think he's hot. 324 00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:59,472 You wouldn't even know what to do with a hot guy. 325 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,975 Oh, yeah? Watch me. 326 00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:09,849 Great, you broke him. 327 00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:12,285 The biggest surprise 328 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:14,955 was how much I love having him around. 329 00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:17,257 I mean, Jake's amazing. 330 00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:18,791 Do you know I have on occasion 331 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:22,195 actually put his needs ahead of my own? 332 00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,899 Like going to a soccer game at 8:00 a.m. on a Saturday? 333 00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,234 Yes. 334 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,436 At 8:00 a.m. I can barely get out of bed 335 00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:30,837 to go to the bathroom. 336 00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:33,573 So what you're saying is having a child in your life 337 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,276 totally changes the way that you look at things. 338 00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:37,410 Exactly. 339 00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:40,847 Of course you probably know that already. 340 00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:42,182 Yeah. 341 00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:44,417 But I like that you know it. 342 00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:47,420 I had a really great time. 343 00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:48,922 Me, too. 344 00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:50,757 Can we do this again? 345 00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:52,292 I would love that. 346 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,494 Great. 347 00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:04,471 Whoa. 348 00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:06,106 ( cries ) 349 00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:08,008 What happened? 350 00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:10,610 Did I do something wrong? 351 00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:14,314 Please don't tell Alan's wife. 352 00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:17,850 No, you didn't do anything wrong. 353 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,386 I really like you. 354 00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:27,260 Okay, this is new for me. 355 00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:29,829 It's just... 356 00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:32,065 Charlie, I have a ten-year-old son. 357 00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:34,334 I have two mortgages, private school bills, 358 00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:36,103 a full-time job, custody battles, 359 00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,171 alimony battles, child support battles, 360 00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:41,608 carpools and drum lessons. 361 00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,512 How can we possibly do this again? 362 00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:49,749 You bought a ten-year-old a drum set? 363 00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:55,188 Don't change the subject, you know what I'm saying. 364 00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:59,226 I mean, do you really want to be involved in this? 365 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:04,564 I hadn't really thought that far ahead. 366 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,034 Exactly. 367 00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:09,902 All right, well, I guess 368 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:13,006 I'll see you around. 369 00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:14,741 Where are you going? 370 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,443 Home? 371 00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:17,644 Why? 372 00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,346 I mean, I said we couldn't do it again. 373 00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:23,450 That doesn't mean we can't do it tonight. 374 00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:31,624 Boy, you really don't have a clue, do you, Charlie? 375 00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:33,193 No. 376 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,396 But it seems to be working for me. 377 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,443 Morning. 378 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,112 Hey. 379 00:16:57,150 --> 00:17:00,320 Regular or decaf? 380 00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:01,488 Regular. 381 00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:02,722 Thank God. 382 00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:16,035 Aren't you even curious? 383 00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:18,505 You went to Gloria's last night. 384 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:19,706 Yeah. 385 00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:21,508 I can fill in the blanks. 386 00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:30,150 Man, we're getting killed. 387 00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:32,285 Hey, we're here for fun, right? 388 00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:33,786 Nobody wins or loses. 389 00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:34,921 Oh, come on. 390 00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:37,790 Somebody always loses. 391 00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,692 Who are we kidding? 392 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:42,529 It's eight to one out there and everybody here knows it. 393 00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:45,798 And you know I'll tell you another thing. 394 00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:48,568 We haven't won a game all season 395 00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:50,970 and I'm putting that in the newsletter. 396 00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:54,141 And as God is my witness, 397 00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:57,910 there will be a newsletter. 398 00:17:57,977 --> 00:18:01,348 Dad, you're kind of freaking everybody out here. 399 00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:05,185 Forget it, Jake. 400 00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:07,620 It's Sherman Oaks.